The Thief in the Bright Red Shirt

The Thief in the Bright Red Shirt - Cartoon illustration of a brightly lit, ornate funeral home at night. Two police officers stand over an open coffin. Inside the coffin, a thief named Barty sits up, wearing a bright red Hawaiian shirt, yellow shorts, neon sneakers, and a massive gold watch. He looks dejected as one officer shines a flashlight on him and the other holds handcuffs. Bags of stolen jewels sit nearby.
When you forget the ‘stealth’ part of the stealth mission. Barty, in his bright red “carnival getup,” realizes the coffins at Grave Expectations were not the best hiding spot.

“The Thief in the Bright Red Shirt” is a play about two thieves who couldn’t be more different. Rex is cautious, careful, and dressed in black to stay unseen — but his partner, Barty, prefers fashion over stealth. Wearing bright red shorts, a Hawaiian-print shirt, and neon sneakers, Barty turns what should have been a quiet heist into a glowing disaster! This fun and witty story shows how being yourself is great — but sometimes, the wrong outfit can really get you caught.


CHARACTERS:

  • REX (THIEF 1): The planner, anxious, obsessed with procedure.
  • BARTHOLOMEW “BARTY” (THIEF 2): The free spirit, easily distracted, wearing the brightly colored clothes.
  • OFFICER JENKINS (POLICE 1): The serious, observant officer.
  • OFFICER CHLOE (POLICE 2): The dry-witted, slightly cynical officer. 

SCRIPT:

ACT 1 – The Glittering Snatch

SCENE: Inside The Crown Jewel Fine Jewelry Store.

(The stage is dark, lit only by the beam of Rex’s flashlight. He is dressed head to toe in black tactical gear. Barty is wearing bright red shorts, a red Hawaiian-print shirt, and a pair of neon-yellow sneakers that glow under the weak light.)

REX: (Whispering intensely into a headset that isn’t on) Okay, this is it. This is the point of no return. You got the bag?

BARTY: (Loudly, admiring a diamond necklace) Relax, Rex! It’s all going according to my plan. Look at this sparkle! It’s like staring into a tiny frozen galaxy.

REX: (Whipping his head around) Stop sparkling! And why—why are you wearing that carnival getup?!

BARTY: It’s my comfort apparel! Besides, black clothes are so… anti-social. I prefer to express myself.

REX: We’re in the middle of a B&E, Barty! You’re supposed to be invisible! You look like a traffic cone that wandered into a tropical rave!

BARTY: (Picking up a massive gold watch) It’s dark! No one can see me! (He holds the watch under the faint light and gasps) Oh, a Platypus Patek!

REX: (Panting, shoving watches into a dark canvas bag) I specifically said: Dark clothes. No scents. Silent footwear. You’re practically a human flashing sign! We have 60 seconds before the silent alarm pings the station!

BARTY: (Putting the watch on) I know, I know. But how does this look? Is this me? (He strikes a series of ridiculous poses: “The Executive,” “The Yachtsman,” “The Accidental Tourist.”)

REX: It looks like a forty-thousand-dollar piece of evidence! Get that thing off!

BARTY: (Reading the tag) Oh, forty-five thousand. I’m leaving the little tag on, which makes it feel more authentic.

REX: (Slamming the bag shut) Done! We’re leaving!

(The sound of police sirens wailing outside gets rapidly closer.)

BARTY: (Eyes wide) Whoops! Guess the silent alarm wasn’t that silent!

REX: (Grabbing Barty’s arm) Move! You’ve ruined everything with your fashion sense!

(Rex drags Barty off stage right. Officer Jenkins and Officer Chloe immediately burst onto the stage from stage left, flashlights cutting through the darkness.)

JENKINS & CHLOE: POLICE! FREEZE!

CHLOE: Did you see that blur?

JENKINS: I saw… a streak of red and a flash of neon yellow, like a runaway parrot.

CHLOE: The getaway car must be bright pink. Come on!

(They exit in pursuit.)

ACT 2 – The Eternal Resting Place

SCENE: Inside Grave Expectations Funeral Home.

(The stage is dimly lit, casting long, unsettling shadows. A few ornate, open caskets line the stage. The police sirens can still be heard in the distance, fading slightly. Rex rushes in, still in all black, the large bag slung over his shoulder.)

REX: In here! Perfect! Dark, quiet, and nobody wants to spend more than five minutes in a funeral home unless they absolutely have to.

BARTY: (Entering breathlessly, adjusting his neon sneakers) I hate this. It smells like old flowers and regret.

REX: You think I like it? Now, listen. We’re separating. You find a place to hide, and I’ll ditch this bag somewhere clever. Meet up at my place in an hour.

BARTY: But where can I hide? I feel like I’m glowing!

(Police sirens suddenly sound very close again.)

REX: They’re here!

BARTY: (Spotting the caskets) Oh no. Oh no no no.

REX: The coffins! Get in one! Now!

BARTY: But I’m still alive! This is just morbid!

REX: (Shoving him towards the nearest open casket) It’s either a casket or a police mugshot! Pick your enclosure!

(Barty hesitantly climbs into an ornate, velvet-lined coffin, pulling the lid down until only a crack remains. Rex nods, then dashes off stage, dropping the bag just out of sight behind a curtain.Officer Jenkins and Officer Chloe enter. Jenkins holds his flashlight steady; Chloe is rubbing her eyes.)

CHLOE: I need a coffee and a less-intense color palette. Did you really think they’d hide in a funeral home?

JENKINS: It’s counterintuitive. That’s why it’s brilliant, unless they’re foolish.

CHLOE: (Stops in front of Barty’s casket) Well, somebody left a lid slightly ajar. (She slowly pushes the lid fully open. Barty is lying perfectly still, wearing his red and yellow outfit, the gold watch gleaming.)

JENKINS: (Approaching) Well, look at this. Deceased, I presume?

CHLOE: (Peering down, deadpan) Either deceased, or a very dedicated Miami Beach tourist who got lost.

JENKINS: That red shirt is certainly a statement. A statement that screams, “I am guilty and easy to spot!”

CHLOE: (Chuckles, pointing) At least he accessorized correctly. Gold Rolex, retail tag still on. You know, when I die, I want to go out with that level of audacious luxury.

JENKINS: Maybe not the neon sneakers. (He leans in close to Barty.) You know, he’s got a very healthy glow for a corpse.

CHLOE: (Taps the side of the coffin) Maybe he’s a late sleeper.

(Barty can’t help himself. A tiny, involuntary sneeze escapes him.)

BARTY: (Muffled) A-choo!

JENKINS: (Stares down, then smiles slowly) Bless you.

CHLOE: (Shakes her head, pulling out a pair of handcuffs) Well, that was a short retirement.

JENKINS: (To Barty) Get up, Sunny-Jim. The joke’s over.

(Barty groans, sits up stiffly in the coffin, and steps out, the gold watch sparkling.)

BARTY: (Muttering) Of course. My luck is so bad, I’d be arrested at my own imaginary funeral.

CHLOE: (Clamping the cuffs on) You have the right to remain silent, but please don’t. We need to know where your very drab accomplice is.

JENKINS: Don’t worry. We’ll find the guy in all black. Once we look past the bright red shirt, it shouldn’t be too hard.

(Jenkins spies the jewelry bag’s corner poking out from behind the curtain.)

JENKINS: Ah. Already found the bag, looks like his planning wasn’t quite as meticulous as his fashion sense. Let’s go, Rolex.

(Chloe takes Barty by the arm. Jenkins retrieves the bag. They start to exit.)

BARTY: (Looking back at the empty coffin) You know, that velvet lining was surprisingly comfortable.

(Barty, Jenkins, and Chloe exit.)

In the end, “The Thief in the Bright Red Shirt” reminds us that even the best plans can go wrong when people don’t work together. Barty’s flashy clothes and carefree attitude lead to their capture, proving that teamwork, preparation, and listening to others are key to success — and that crime never pays, no matter how fashionable someone is.

The End

Author: K I D S I N C O


Moral of the Story: No plan can succeed without teamwork, discipline, and a little common sense — and honesty will always shine brighter than stolen jewels.

Moral Values:

  • Teamwork: Success depends on cooperation and trust between partners.
  • Responsibility: Following rules and respecting others’ advice matters.
  • Honesty: Cheating or stealing only leads to failure.
  • Self-awareness: Confidence is good, but ignoring reason can have serious consequences.
  • Humility: True value lies in character, not appearance.



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